Is there anyone who can listen to me?

Take a deep breath and just relax. You're young and vulnerable and looking for the perfect woman in the WRONG place. Don't date anyone in your office, for one. This will only cause you problems in the long run. Find some outside resources, say a gym or a singles club. Even hooking up via a dating service is better than trying to discredit your self-esteem. The more people you meet, the better chances you have of finding the right person. Good luck and keep trying!